60 + Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Ambrose Bierce Quotes : Ambrose Bierce is English author he used to inspire people by their quotes, Ambrose Bierce Quotes is famous all over the world. Today we share with you best collection of Ambrose Bierce Quotes that might you inspire and show the best way to live life.

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About Ambrose Bierce Quotes “Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and Civil War veteran. His book The Devil’s Dictionary was named as one of “The 100 Greatest Masterpieces of American Literature” by the American Revolution Bicentennial Administration. Wikipedia

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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Erudition – dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow.

Insurance – an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

 

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Universe

BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Ambrose Bierce: The Devil’s Dictionary

CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

POSITIVE, adj. Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce: The Devil’s Dictionary

FASHION, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.” Ambrose Bierce

“You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege – to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!” Ambrose Bierce

“LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss, yet when lost it is not missed.” Ambrose Bierce

“Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.” Ambrose Bierce

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.” Ambrose Bierce

“To the eye of failure success is an accident.” Ambrose Bierce

“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.” Ambrose Bierce

“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.” Ambrose Bierce

“The covers of this book are too far apart.” Ambrose Bierce

“Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.” Ambrose Bierce

“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.” Ambrose Bierce

“Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.” Ambrose Bierce

“Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.” Ambrose Bierce

“Be as decent as you can. Don’t believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect , don’t have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security, it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be.” Ambrose Bierce

“Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.” Ambrose Bierce
“Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.” Ambrose Bierce

“Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.” Ambrose Bierce

“LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.” Ambrose Bierce

“Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” Ambrose Bierce

“MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.” Ambrose Bierce

“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.” Ambrose Bierce

“The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.” Ambrose Bierce

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” Ambrose Bierce

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.” Ambrose Bierce

. “Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.” Ambrose Bierce

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce

“Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.” Ambrose Bierce

“What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.” Ambrose Bierce

EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.

HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

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