Roses are dead, love is fake, weddings are basically funerals with cake.

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance.

Sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

If you wanna impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you just cant’ do it.

I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.

“Life isn’t perfect, but me and you together is.”

“Life without you would be like a broken pencil. pointless.”

“My heart understand you.”

“One smile can’t change the world, but your smile changes mine.”

“Our homoe is different than any house because you’re in it.”

“Some people are worth melting for.”

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard but must be felt with the heart.”

“The peanut butter to my jelly.”

“These two parts make a better whole.”

“Be like a sea, wild, free and sassy.”

“Classy is when a woman has everything but doesn’t show off.”

“Dear, hating me will not make you beautiful.”

“Don’t let your eyes blind seeing my beauty.”

“Focus on the Good.”

“Grow through what you go through.”

“I am having a syndrome of a down.”

“I find strength in pain.”

“Keep calm and take a selfies.”

“I just got back with the ex 360 back.”

“I know I have everything that you want, but sorry not available.”

“Just because you didn’t sleep does not mean that you should stop dreaming.”

“I live my life always being classy, never trashy, and I am a little sassy as well.”

“I woke up like this.”

Life imitates art

Make them stop and stare

Wine not?

Messy bun and getting stuff done

Stop and smell the rosé

Reality called so I hung up

I was born to stand out

Life is short, make every hair flip count

It’s all about the ambiance

A sass a day keeps the basics away

A-game coming at you

I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case

Caring doesn’t really go with my outfit

Sending my selfie to NASA, because I’m a star

A selfie a day keeps the doctor away

I’m everything you want, but can’t have

I just care about me, my selfie & I

But first, let me take a selfie

Know your worth, then add tax.

Eat Pray Slay

Are you free tomorrow? No I’m expensive.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, get a door.

No I checked my receipt, I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.

sassy quotes stickers

There is no U in Awesome, but there’s a ME.

If you’re trying to bring me down, you’re already below me.

Hey I found your nose. It was in my business.

I used to just Crastinate. But I got so good I went Pro.

Build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

Looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.

Life is short, make every hair flip count.

Be a stiletto in a room of flats.

Sorry I can’t hear you over the volume of my hair.

Confidence level. Selfie with no filter.

Too glam to give a damn.

start a blog quiz

Hotter than the bottom of your laptop.

5’2 with an attitude of 6’1.

I’m suffering an extreme case of not being Beyonce.

Why chase you when I’m the catch.

Hello 911, I’m on fire.

“Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.”

“Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.”

“I take a lot of selfies for my future biographer.”

“I wanna be different just like everyone else.”

“If I was a writer I’d have a better Instagram bio quote.”

“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”

“My blood is made of coffee.”

“My goal is to create a life that I don’t want to take a vacation from.”

“No this isn’t a dream, this is my reality.”

“Sharing my happy thoughts.”

“Success is in my veins.”

“The best things come from living outside of your comfort zone.”

“Throwing kindness around like confetti.”

“Wifi + food + my bed = PERFECTION.”

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”

“Your time is limited. So don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

“Couples that laugh together, last together.”

“Every day with you is the best day of my life.”

“Every moment I spend with you is like a beautiful dream come true.”

“He stole my heart, so I’m stealing his last name.”

“I still get butterflies even though I’ve seen you a hundred times.”

“If you live to be a hundred. I want to live to be a hundred minus one day. So I never have to live without you.”

sassy quote: Hello 911, I’m on fire

I like my coffee how I like myself. Dark, bitter and too hot for you.

Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.

When you look good and your mirror knows it

I don’t like myselfie. I’m crazy abut myselfie

Sassy, Classy, and a bit smart assy

This is how to be a heartbreaker

I’m actually not taking a mirror selfie. I’m just showing you my new phone

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode

“Let’s wait and just start as strangers.”

“I’m born beautiful.”

“I’m headed to space with the rest of the stars.”

“Life is better when you’re laughing.”

“Life is way too short for bad vibes.”

“My question to you is not about can you. It’s about will you.”

No one talk to me before I’ve had my coffee

I don’t dress up for boys. I dress up to stare at my reflection as I walk by store windows

Maybe she’s born with it…maybe it’s an Instagram filter

I’m not bossy. I’ve got leadership skills

Sure, I do marathons… On Netflix

My fave part of this outfit is the invisible crown

I woke up like this — said no one ever except for Beyoncé and maybe a handful of models

My mood depends on how good my hair looks

I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot

You look like something I drew with my left hand

Blood type: matte black with a hint of gold.

If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?

How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up.

You are either on my side, by my side, or in my way. Choose wisely.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll drop you like it’s funny.

Don’t underestimate me. I go from lady to ghetto in under 2.5 seconds.

Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.

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